Blue skirt, rainbow socks

Gender 101

The public conversation around gender has become increasingly nuanced since my college days, much to my delight. That said, the influx of new language can be overwhelming. If you want to know why someone called you “cis” or are just looking for a crash course in gender, this post is for you. Vocabulary sex: Refers to the anatomy of an individual’s reproductive system, and secondary … Continue reading Gender 101

My friend and I getting down with our queer selves, circa 2009.

Visibly Queer

Recently, I was reading Jill Soloway (the creator of Transparent)’s book, “She Wants It” and came to a passage where Jill talks about hitting puberty and suddenly having a very feminine body and the ability to wield sexual power over men (at least in theory). The part that confused me was the tone, implying that this transformation is a universal experience for those of us assigned female … Continue reading Visibly Queer

Hannah Gadsby performing her show "Nanette" / Copyright © Ben King/Netflix

Coming out, Again and Again

“Coming out” is a bizarre rite-of-passage for queer folks. Part of what makes it so bizarre is it isn’t like there’s one “coming out” you do, like a Quinceañera, and then you’re set. You have the pleasure (or misfortune) of coming out over and over again in difference situations. Unless you gathered ALL of your family together for one big announcement, you probably come out … Continue reading Coming out, Again and Again

Why I Love the word “Dyke”

CW: Discussion about gender issues, homophobia, transphobia, coming out My mother really tried to be supportive of me in middle school. Almost a little too supportive. It wouldn’t be until I was 20 that I would come out to my parents, but back in middle school Mom would sometimes come to me out of the blue and enthusiastically remind me, “It’s OK if you like girls!” I … Continue reading Why I Love the word “Dyke”