My friend and I getting down with our queer selves, circa 2009.

Visibly Queer

Recently, I was reading Jill Soloway (the creator of Transparent)’s book, “She Wants It” and came to a passage where Jill talks about hitting puberty and suddenly having a very feminine body and the ability to wield sexual power over men (at least in theory). The part that confused me was the tone, implying that this transformation is a universal experience for those of us assigned female … Continue reading Visibly Queer

Drag Queen of England Tea Party

Invited

When I was in 6th grade, a classmate was having a big birthday bash to which it seemed everyone was invited. We’ll call her Kayla. It was still summer vacation and I ran into my best friend at the beach. She asked me if I was going to Kayla’s birthday party and I told her I hadn’t received an invitation. “Oh you’re invited!” my friend … Continue reading Invited

Me being my goofy self, circa 2012.

Permission

“Do you understand what self-deprecation means when it come from somebody who already exists in the margins? It’s not humility, it’s humiliation. I put myself down in order to speak, in order to seek permission to speak…” –Hannah Gadsby When I saw “Nanette” for the first time and I heard Hannah speak these words, it was as though someone had put a large bell over … Continue reading Permission

“Who could ever learn to love a Beast?”

CW: Discussion of body and gender issues, gendered insults When you’re a young girl growing up in the States, “Who’s your favorite Disney princess?” is a question you get asked on a regular basis. Nowadays, I would definitely say Mulan (the trans hero of my heart–I’ll have to do a whole separate post about that), but when I was a kid I would say Belle, … Continue reading “Who could ever learn to love a Beast?”

Why I Love the word “Dyke”

CW: Discussion about gender issues, homophobia, transphobia, coming out My mother really tried to be supportive of me in middle school. Almost a little too supportive. It wouldn’t be until I was 20 that I would come out to my parents, but back in middle school Mom would sometimes come to me out of the blue and enthusiastically remind me, “It’s OK if you like girls!” I … Continue reading Why I Love the word “Dyke”