The public conversation around gender has become increasingly nuanced since my college days, much to my delight. That said, the influx of new language can be overwhelming. If you want to know why someone called you “cis” or are just looking for a crash course in gender, this post is for you. Vocabulary sex: Refers to the anatomy of an individual’s reproductive system, and secondary … Continue reading Gender 101
“My masculinity doesn’t hold up to scrutiny,” says Hannah Gadsby during her stand-up special Nanette, “I’m only a man at a glance.” I remember laughing particularly hard at this point, because I can relate more than most. I’ve talked about why I often get mistaken for a man (in short, I lack your trademark feminine curves and stature and have short hair) before, but I … Continue reading Man at a Glance
Recently, I was reading Jill Soloway (the creator of Transparent)’s book, “She Wants It” and came to a passage where Jill talks about hitting puberty and suddenly having a very feminine body and the ability to wield sexual power over men (at least in theory). The part that confused me was the tone, implying that this transformation is a universal experience for those of us assigned female … Continue reading Visibly Queer
I am three years old. I am not a loud or rambunctious child, but I am constantly humming to myself. Mom will find this habit charming until the day I learn to whistle. I am four years old. My mother wants to brush my hair, the way she always dreamed of brushing her daughter’s silky hair as though she were a doll. I do not … Continue reading Actually Autistic?
Given the choice, I’ll always opt for music over talking when I’m driving alone, but when Kelly and I ride together I have her pick out podcasts, of which she is a connoisseur. (It feels kind of fancy, to be honest, like I have a personal podcast curator.) Today, Kelly asked me if I wanted to listen to a series called “Doctor Death” that followed … Continue reading The Men Who Shout
If you played an instrument for any length of time while you were growing up in the United States, you were probably subjected to an adjudicated music festival at some point in time. Since I grew up in New York, ours was called “NYSSMA,” which referred to the organization that ran it, the New York State School Music Association. My mom once called it “lambs … Continue reading Progress
In “Nanette,” Hannah Gadsby’s comes out as “tired.” I know some folks took umbrage at this joke, likening it to the “I identify as an attack helicopter” joke a lot of ignorant people like to make in regards to gender, but I don’t think that was the joke at all. In fact, I don’t think this line was a joke, even though you can’t help … Continue reading Tired