Photo of a radio by Rayan Almuslem on Unsplash

Little Joys

As someone who’s struggled with life-long clinical Depression, the concept of “happiness” has always been bizarre and elusive to me. The examples of happiness we see in our young lives are often of the “and they lived Happily Ever After” variety, implying that happiness is a state once reaches, rather than a string of beautiful moments peppered along a lifetime.  And as long as I … Continue reading Little Joys

Here I am, annoying my darling Titi.

My Four-Legged Therapist

My home is full of animals. Being a guardian to animals, particularly a bunch of them, does require some sacrifices. I don’t have a lot of what I would consider “nice” things, simply because animals can be dirty and destructive, even accidentally. Sometimes they’re even just being jerks. (My cat Nero, for example, likes to look me in the eye while knocking a glass to … Continue reading My Four-Legged Therapist

The Swamp of Sadness from "The Neverending Story."

The Neverending War

[CW: discussion of clinical Depression, suicide, and mental health] [Spoilers for the 1984 film The Neverending Story.] I’ve been fighting a war a long as I can remember, and I am tired. This war isn’t fought with guns or bombs or missiles, but my life is on the line nonetheless. I don’t want to die, but there’s voice in my mind telling me I should, insisting that … Continue reading The Neverending War

Me, waiting for a train that will never come. Circa 2012.

Don’t Hate Me Because I Hate Me

Confidence is sexy. Don’t ask me where I learned that, it’s just one of those things “everyone knows.” Surely you’ve learned this too, either in conversation or directly. As a person who’s never had much self-confidence to speak of, I can’t tally the number of times well-meaning friends have instructed me to simply “Be confident!” as though that is actually helpful life advice. They act … Continue reading Don’t Hate Me Because I Hate Me