My friend and I getting down with our queer selves, circa 2009.

Visibly Queer

Recently, I was reading Jill Soloway (the creator of Transparent)’s book, “She Wants It” and came to a passage where Jill talks about hitting puberty and suddenly having a very feminine body and the ability to wield sexual power over men (at least in theory). The part that confused me was the tone, implying that this transformation is a universal experience for those of us assigned female … Continue reading Visibly Queer

Hannah Gadsby performing her show "Nanette" / Copyright © Ben King/Netflix

Coming out, Again and Again

“Coming out” is a bizarre rite-of-passage for queer folks. Part of what makes it so bizarre is it isn’t like there’s one “coming out” you do, like a Quinceañera, and then you’re set. You have the pleasure (or misfortune) of coming out over and over again in difference situations. Unless you gathered ALL of your family together for one big announcement, you probably come out … Continue reading Coming out, Again and Again

“I’m not a lesbian, but…”

Straight, curious, and heteroflexible friends, It has come to my attention that we need to have a little chat. Last night I was watching an episode of the ever-delightful Hannah Gadsby’s “Renaissance Woman“–a short YouTube series she did featuring her area of expertise, art history. I noticed there were a lot of comments and being both curious and a masochist, I decided to read them. … Continue reading “I’m not a lesbian, but…”

“Who could ever learn to love a Beast?”

CW: Discussion of body and gender issues, gendered insults When you’re a young girl growing up in the States, “Who’s your favorite Disney princess?” is a question you get asked on a regular basis. Nowadays, I would definitely say Mulan (the trans hero of my heart–I’ll have to do a whole separate post about that), but when I was a kid I would say Belle, … Continue reading “Who could ever learn to love a Beast?”

Why I Love the word “Dyke”

CW: Discussion about gender issues, homophobia, transphobia, coming out My mother really tried to be supportive of me in middle school. Almost a little too supportive. It wouldn’t be until I was 20 that I would come out to my parents, but back in middle school Mom would sometimes come to me out of the blue and enthusiastically remind me, “It’s OK if you like girls!” I … Continue reading Why I Love the word “Dyke”