Disclaimer: I’m not endorsing tardiness in any way, shape, or form. I realize that to function in our current world, punctuality is a must. This is just a recounting of some of my personal struggles with punctuality and timeliness. Recently, I wrote about Executive Dysfunction and the difficulties it causes. One of the most common issues is problems with time management: tardiness, procrastination, etc. Time management … Continue reading Tardy
Forgive me for stating the obvious here, but executive dysfunction is challenging. For years, I just thought I was lazy, or broken, or overly depressed (some of the last one is probably accurate, I have been dealing with clinical depression about as long as I’ve had memory). Eventually, I came across the concept of executive function and it’s flip-side, the dysfunction, and while it sounded … Continue reading Care for the Organism
Confidence is sexy. Don’t ask me where I learned that, it’s just one of those things “everyone knows.” Surely you’ve learned this too, either in conversation or directly. As a person who’s never had much self-confidence to speak of, I can’t tally the number of times well-meaning friends have instructed me to simply “Be confident!” as though that is actually helpful life advice. They act … Continue reading Don’t Hate Me Because I Hate Me
I wish I could say I’ve handled the autistic realization with nothing but gracefully acceptance, but that’s not the case. It’s been a bit of a process, to be honest, somewhat like grieving. I guess I’m grieving any chance of ever truly being normal but… didn’t I already know I was “different”? My whole life, haven’t I known? But that’s so me, to hold out … Continue reading Common Reaction
I am three years old. I am not a loud or rambunctious child, but I am constantly humming to myself. Mom will find this habit charming until the day I learn to whistle. I am four years old. My mother wants to brush my hair, the way she always dreamed of brushing her daughter’s silky hair as though she were a doll. I do not … Continue reading Actually Autistic?
“Do you understand what self-deprecation means when it come from somebody who already exists in the margins? It’s not humility, it’s humiliation. I put myself down in order to speak, in order to seek permission to speak…” –Hannah Gadsby When I saw “Nanette” for the first time and I heard Hannah speak these words, it was as though someone had put a large bell over … Continue reading Permission
On my last day of high school, I wore the most ridiculous outfit I could assemble: striped tights and armwarmers, one black ballet-flat and one white, a loud skirt that looked like it had escaped from a modern-art museum, my black work polo and my name-tag that read “Melon Girl” (my job at the time was at the local supermarket assembling those overpriced fruit-and-vegetable party-platters), … Continue reading Freaksaurus Rex