Hands up, pushing away. Photo by M.T ElGassier on Unsplash

I worry, therefore I am

I’ve had a hard time writing this past week, probably in part because I’ve had a hard time thinking lately. Writing requires at least some organization of thought: a trait I have been completely lacking recently. I’ve been reluctant to talk about it, but I do believe part of how we connect with one another is through being vulnerable and transparent, so that’s my goal. … Continue reading I worry, therefore I am

Here I am, annoying my darling Titi.

My Four-Legged Therapist

My home is full of animals. Being a guardian to animals, particularly a bunch of them, does require some sacrifices. I don’t have a lot of what I would consider “nice” things, simply because animals can be dirty and destructive, even accidentally. Sometimes they’re even just being jerks. (My cat Nero, for example, likes to look me in the eye while knocking a glass to … Continue reading My Four-Legged Therapist

Me, waiting for a train that will never come. Circa 2012.

Don’t Hate Me Because I Hate Me

Confidence is sexy. Don’t ask me where I learned that, it’s just one of those things “everyone knows.” Surely you’ve learned this too, either in conversation or directly. As a person who’s never had much self-confidence to speak of, I can’t tally the number of times well-meaning friends have instructed me to simply “Be confident!” as though that is actually helpful life advice. They act … Continue reading Don’t Hate Me Because I Hate Me

Me napping with my tortoiseshell calico, Titi.

Tired

In “Nanette,” Hannah Gadsby’s comes out as “tired.” I know some folks took umbrage at this joke, likening it to the “I identify as an attack helicopter” joke a lot of ignorant people like to make in regards to gender, but I don’t think that was the joke at all. In fact, I don’t think this line was a joke, even though you can’t help … Continue reading Tired

Me being my goofy self, circa 2012.

Permission

“Do you understand what self-deprecation means when it come from somebody who already exists in the margins? It’s not humility, it’s humiliation. I put myself down in order to speak, in order to seek permission to speak…” –Hannah Gadsby When I saw “Nanette” for the first time and I heard Hannah speak these words, it was as though someone had put a large bell over … Continue reading Permission

Hannah Gadsby performing her show "Nanette" / Copyright © Ben King/Netflix

Coming out, Again and Again

“Coming out” is a bizarre rite-of-passage for queer folks. Part of what makes it so bizarre is it isn’t like there’s one “coming out” you do, like a Quinceañera, and then you’re set. You have the pleasure (or misfortune) of coming out over and over again in difference situations. Unless you gathered ALL of your family together for one big announcement, you probably come out … Continue reading Coming out, Again and Again