I’ve had a hard time writing this past week, probably in part because I’ve had a hard time thinking lately. Writing requires at least some organization of thought: a trait I have been completely lacking recently. I’ve been reluctant to talk about it, but I do believe part of how we connect with one another is through being vulnerable and transparent, so that’s my goal. … Continue reading I worry, therefore I am
“I have this tight feeling in my chest,” my partner messaged me the other day. Immediately I start worrying about cardiac issues, even though she’s relatively young for that. Thank goodness she works at an urgent care. “All my vitals are normal, though.” Huh, so what the heck is going on? “Is this what anxiety feels like?” I laugh. I have to laugh. How did … Continue reading Invisible Struggles
“Humans are social creatures” is a thing you will hear and see over and over again, particularly in any article or opinion piece about human beings. Everyone seems pretty settled on this, even Aristotle thought so, which has me perpetually wondering what the heck is wrong with me. “Be social” is actually an item written in my daily habit and chore tracker. I didn’t add it … Continue reading If humans are so sociable, then what’s my problem?
Once upon a time, I went to band camp. I wish that were the setup to some elaborate joke, but the only joke was me and my feeble attempts to make friends during those brutal two weeks over Summer vacation. Continue reading The Bubble Girl: Tales from the Kid in the Corner of the Room
I was feeling quite luxurious this morning, having followed up a standard shower with some body butter and lip balm. I’m more likely to massage someone else’s hands than my own, which I suppose is part of what made is so luxurious. But then I paused and laughed realizing that my version of “luxurious” didn’t include a stitch of make-up. I giggled, grabbed my purse, … Continue reading Barefaced
“Look me in the eye!” someone will say when they’re furious or deadly serious. Though we don’t often unpack it, eye contact has power. To look into someone’s eyes and have them look back at you can be intimidating for the same reason it can be exhilarating: it’s a moment of pure, unadulterated connection with another person. So it makes sense, then, for autistic people for … Continue reading Eye Contact
Overwhelmed. Feeling so overwhelmed I can barely write this. Like I shouldn’t be writing this. Like what’s the point anyway? Like there are so many thoughts bumping into each other I think they’re going to put cracks in my cranium. I was sick yesterday, some kind of stomach bug, so not only did my body purge everything I put into it, I didn’t bother attempting … Continue reading Overwhelmed