I’ve had a hard time writing this past week, probably in part because I’ve had a hard time thinking lately. Writing requires at least some organization of thought: a trait I have been completely lacking recently. I’ve been reluctant to talk about it, but I do believe part of how we connect with one another is through being vulnerable and transparent, so that’s my goal. … Continue reading I worry, therefore I am
As someone who’s struggled with life-long clinical Depression, the concept of “happiness” has always been bizarre and elusive to me. The examples of happiness we see in our young lives are often of the “and they lived Happily Ever After” variety, implying that happiness is a state once reaches, rather than a string of beautiful moments peppered along a lifetime. And as long as I … Continue reading Little Joys
I spend an exorbitant amount of time anxiously worrying about what other people think of me. I worry about other things too, usually whatever could go wrong in any given situation, but other people’s opinions of me, in particular, is something that monopolizes much of my brain power. I worry so much, in fact, that I sometimes wonder if I would cease to exist if … Continue reading It’s Not About You (and that’s Great)
I wish I’d had even some of this sense of urgency when I was younger. As a teenager, I would’ve foolishly welcomed death, but my adult self appreciates the urgency the fact of death adds to my life. Adult me sees the impermanence of all things and seeks to fill my remaining hours with as much thought and activity and creation as possible. Teenage me … Continue reading A Sense of Urgency
“I have this tight feeling in my chest,” my partner messaged me the other day. Immediately I start worrying about cardiac issues, even though she’s relatively young for that. Thank goodness she works at an urgent care. “All my vitals are normal, though.” Huh, so what the heck is going on? “Is this what anxiety feels like?” I laugh. I have to laugh. How did … Continue reading Invisible Struggles
“Humans are social creatures” is a thing you will hear and see over and over again, particularly in any article or opinion piece about human beings. Everyone seems pretty settled on this, even Aristotle thought so, which has me perpetually wondering what the heck is wrong with me. “Be social” is actually an item written in my daily habit and chore tracker. I didn’t add it … Continue reading If humans are so sociable, then what’s my problem?
It is good advice that one ought not measure their insides by someone else’s outsides. That is, don’t use anyone else’s measuring stick to figure out your own, personal progress in life. But I’ve never been one for good advice. I prefer to make the mistake myself, much to my mother’s dismay. She always tried to tell me, but I always had to see for myself. … Continue reading The Comparison Framework