Three women laughing, Photo by Ben White on Unsplash

Just a Joke

How often have to heard someone say something blatantly offensive or purposely incendiary, only to fall back on the excuse, “It’s just a joke!” when someone calls them out on their bad behavior? “Lighten up!” they’ll say, as they belly laugh over something that definitely wasn’t funny in the first place. “Learn to take a joke,” they’ll insist, as though you’re the problem here. Humor … Continue reading Just a Joke

Femme portrait circa 2005

The Comparison Framework

It is good advice that one ought not measure their insides by someone else’s outsides. That is, don’t use anyone else’s measuring stick to figure out your own, personal progress in life.┬áBut I’ve never been one for good advice. I prefer to make the mistake myself, much to my mother’s dismay. She always tried to tell me, but I always had to see for myself. … Continue reading The Comparison Framework

The Ugliest Moose at Moosefest 2005.

The New Normal

“Normal.” It’s a word that gets thrown around often. We act as though “normal” is a fixed point, a goal that can be achieved, or an object that can be obtained. But “normal” is nothing if not relative. Normal means merely “conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.” What is “normal” for you can be completely foreign for the person who lives right next … Continue reading The New Normal

Dermot Kennedy, All Rights Reserved

A Palace from Ruin

I try to listen to at least one new song everyday–music really is my lifeblood. Lately, I discovered singer/songwriter Dermot Kennedy and I can’t recommend him enough. Granted, I’m a bit of a sucker for a man who can sing, but there’s something particularly haunting about his songs. His lyrics are lovely, too, and one of them (“A closeness”) has got me thinking: Got a … Continue reading A Palace from Ruin


Confessions of a former grammar nerd

When your home life is less than ideal as a child, you generally pick something to dive into to distract you from the familiar chaos. For me, that distraction was school. Teachers liked me because I was quiet, kept to myself, and listened in class. So I leaned into it. I worked hard, I almost always pulled straight-As right up until Junior year of high … Continue reading Confessions of a former grammar nerd

Therapy for none

Therapy for None

This post is a continuation of a previous post, “Therapy for All.” I was admittedly surprised that my previous post about how talk therapy can be helpful for some people garnered some backlash, but I should know better about the Internet by now. So, let’s address it. As a advertisement for the previous post, I shared the excerpt: “We often think of therapists as a … Continue reading Therapy for None

Me, waiting for a train that will never come. Circa 2012.

Don’t Hate Me Because I Hate Me

Confidence is sexy. Don’t ask me where I learned that, it’s just one of those things “everyone knows.” Surely you’ve learned this too, either in conversation or directly. As a person who’s never had much self-confidence to speak of, I can’t tally the number of times well-meaning friends have instructed me to simply “Be confident!” as though that is actually helpful life advice. They act … Continue reading Don’t Hate Me Because I Hate Me

Apparently, I wasApparently, I was really into capes as a kid. Circa 1990.

Common Reaction

I wish I could say I’ve handled the autistic realization with nothing but gracefully acceptance, but that’s not the case. It’s been a bit of a process, to be honest, somewhat like grieving. I guess I’m grieving any chance of ever truly being normal but… didn’t I already know I was “different”? My whole life, haven’t I known? But that’s so me, to hold out … Continue reading Common Reaction

Drag Queen of England Tea Party


When I was in 6th grade, a classmate was having a big birthday bash to which it seemed everyone was invited. We’ll call her Kayla. It was still summer vacation and I ran into my best friend at the beach. She asked me if I was going to Kayla’s birthday party and I told her I hadn’t received an invitation. “Oh you’re invited!” my friend … Continue reading Invited