Protesters during the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearings. Picture by Drew Angerer courtesy of Getty Images.

What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?

The air is cool this morning, but I still have the summer blanket on the bed. I pull the fleece close to me, trying to conserve the heat within my blanket cocoon, when the alarm on my phone starts blaring. It screeches and insists I type in a pattern to silence the cacophony, but none of this truly stirs me from my slumber. I’ve silenced … Continue reading What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?

Drag Queen of England Tea Party

Invited

When I was in 6th grade, a classmate was having a big birthday bash to which it seemed everyone was invited. We’ll call her Kayla. It was still summer vacation and I ran into my best friend at the beach. She asked me if I was going to Kayla’s birthday party and I told her I hadn’t received an invitation. “Oh you’re invited!” my friend … Continue reading Invited

Mona’s 440 Club, San Francisco, California, c. 1950. Photo c/o foundsf.org.

Facts about Lesbians

In her show “Nanette,” Hannah Gadsby quips that she “knew more facts about unicorns than about lesbians” for a long time. She then has to double-back and clarify for the audience that “there are no facts about unicorns.” It’s a solid joke, one that is all too relatable for queer people. The internet has made an enormous difference in the lives of LGBTQ+ people, that’s … Continue reading Facts about Lesbians

Me napping with my tortoiseshell calico, Titi.

Tired

In “Nanette,” Hannah Gadsby’s comes out as “tired.” I know some folks took umbrage at this joke, likening it to the “I identify as an attack helicopter” joke a lot of ignorant people like to make in regards to gender, but I don’t think that was the joke at all. In fact, I don’t think this line was a joke, even though you can’t help … Continue reading Tired

Me being my goofy self, circa 2012.

Permission

“Do you understand what self-deprecation means when it come from somebody who already exists in the margins? It’s not humility, it’s humiliation. I put myself down in order to speak, in order to seek permission to speak…” –Hannah Gadsby When I saw “Nanette” for the first time and I heard Hannah speak these words, it was as though someone had put a large bell over … Continue reading Permission

Feminine self-portrait, circa 2009

Femme’d Up

We all get “dressed up” for work in ways we wouldn’t dream of on our downtime, but if you’re a gender-not-normal person, this often includes an extra layer. Personally, I tend to “femme” myself up more than usual for work, which I don’t love, but it feels necessary. How “out” I’ve been at my place of employment has fluctuated over the years, so I’ll start … Continue reading Femme’d Up