Blue skirt, rainbow socks

Gender 101

The public conversation around gender has become increasingly nuanced since my college days, much to my delight. That said, the influx of new language can be overwhelming. If you want to know why someone called you “cis” or are just looking for a crash course in gender, this post is for you. Vocabulary sex: Refers to the anatomy of an individual’s reproductive system, and secondary … Continue reading Gender 101

Me as a "man at a glance"

Man at a Glance

“My masculinity doesn’t hold up to scrutiny,” says Hannah Gadsby during her stand-up special Nanette, “I’m only a man at a glance.” I remember laughing particularly hard at this point, because I can relate more than most. I’ve talked about why I often get mistaken for a man (in short, I lack your trademark feminine curves and stature and have short hair) before, but I … Continue reading Man at a Glance

My friend and I getting down with our queer selves, circa 2009.

Visibly Queer

Recently, I was reading Jill Soloway (the creator of Transparent)’s book, “She Wants It” and came to a passage where Jill talks about hitting puberty and suddenly having a very feminine body and the ability to wield sexual power over men (at least in theory). The part that confused me was the tone, implying that this transformation is a universal experience for those of us assigned female … Continue reading Visibly Queer

Me napping with my tortoiseshell calico, Titi.

Tired

In “Nanette,” Hannah Gadsby’s comes out as “tired.” I know some folks took umbrage at this joke, likening it to the “I identify as an attack helicopter” joke a lot of ignorant people like to make in regards to gender, but I don’t think that was the joke at all. In fact, I don’t think this line was a joke, even though you can’t help … Continue reading Tired

Me dressed up as a Seaweed Queen for the Mermaid Parade. Pharaoh is giving me kisses.

Freaksaurus Rex

On my last day of high school, I wore the most ridiculous outfit I could assemble: striped tights and armwarmers, one black ballet-flat and one white, a loud skirt that looked like it had escaped from a modern-art museum, my black work polo and my name-tag that read “Melon Girl” (my job at the time was at the local supermarket assembling those overpriced fruit-and-vegetable party-platters), … Continue reading Freaksaurus Rex

Hannah Gadsby performing her show "Nanette" / Copyright © Ben King/Netflix

Coming out, Again and Again

“Coming out” is a bizarre rite-of-passage for queer folks. Part of what makes it so bizarre is it isn’t like there’s one “coming out” you do, like a Quinceañera, and then you’re set. You have the pleasure (or misfortune) of coming out over and over again in difference situations. Unless you gathered ALL of your family together for one big announcement, you probably come out … Continue reading Coming out, Again and Again